Feeling Loved 💘

I am a serial crush-er....*though not proud of it *,in my formative years, I'd Crushed on so many handsome boys that I started to lose count.  I liked Wilfred this Sunday,  stan on Tuesday, Ken was an on and off crush was undecided... Lionel, how wouldn't you love him.... To mention a few...
The real love was reserved for the ones I could only trip for from afar..... This hot smoking guy.. Way older than me  beyond my reach but yet he was what I wanted at different times and as it was my nature,the title of "smoking guy" changed as quickly as the day gave way to the night... In all my crushing period.... I never had a need to crave more.... I was so satisfied changing my crush as the traditions and lifestyle of the world did...
Being loved was more important than giving love.... But hey, it was just my opinion.... I felt so comfortable been who I was... Float,never been saddled with any commitment and most importantly  I could change my "crush" or "smoking guy"as time  changed.😉
Now, looking back at my  need to shield my self from the hurt that comes with rejection, or a commitment or the opportunities (new crushes or smoking guys) I would have to forgo ..... I have come to ask my self was I being just childish or was that the wisest way to navigate this journey of life and love
Even though it sounds a bit selfish, would we be better loving from a distance and changing bearing immediately something hotter comes through?
And if we did this would we be doing this out of fear or would it give us the complete satisfaction we desire? Would it fill the vacuum of having love in our lives? Would it be enough?